Tuesday, November 23, 2010

best song ever

The lakes and pines they bleed of beauty and grace
And the rivers they run wild like an endless race
The forests soar so high then fall to the sea
As church bells ring and sing in harmony

I heard them say they're shuttin' Detroit down
But I won't leave cuz' this is my hometown

And it's times like these we can't replace
It's times like these we must embrace
And even though it's bittersweet and brings us to our knees
It makes us who we are, in times like these

The concrete and steel stand strong against the wind
With the memories of what was and what has been
The sounds of sweet soul music and blue-collar blues
There were 17 colors for a Chevy all red white and blue

I heard them say that you can't save that town
But I won't leave, I will stand my ground
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

And it's times like these we can't replace
It's times like these we must embrace
And even though it's bittersweet and brings us to our knees
It makes us who we are, in times like these


The ice and snow give way to a new spring bloom
In the wake that hope and faith they will be home soon
A new day dawns as the good Lord shines from above
Cuz in the rubble and rust there remains a whole lotta love

And I was here watchin' it all go down
And I'll still be, when it comes back around

And it's times like these we can't replace
It's times like these we must embrace
And even though it's bittersweet and brings us to our knees
It makes us who we are, in times like these
It makes us who we are in times like these

Monday, November 22, 2010


IT'S ALMOST WEDNESDAY!! I COME HOME SOON!! CAN'T WAIT TO see friends and family...


All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"


You ever get the urge to just want to pick up the phone and call someone you know you can't? I miss the times we had just talking, being silly, but most of all just being there for eachother when times got tough.

I don't miss the way I was treated though. I don't miss the yelling, the name calling, the talks behind my back.... the threats... i don't miss any of that..

I'm not perfect and I know that... I realize that I don't need to change for anyone. I am who I am...

sometimes i just miss certain people more than anything and there's nothing I can really do...

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Deciding to move was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but I think it was the smartest one. Where I'm living in NC is about 12 hours away from West Bloomfield, MI. The weather is gorgeous and all the people are too friendly for words. They are also very nosey, but it's something I'm getting used to. The social life is still non existent, but it's getting there. I've only been here for 3 months, but I'm learning to like it. I've had more luck with being in schools since I've graduated. I'm at my 4th school and 5th grade.. only one more to go and I'll have experienced all the elementary grades. I have a pretty good chance of having my own classroom next year, and for that I'm quite excited.

People think I moved because of all the drama going on at home.. honestly... really? just pack up and move 12 hours away to escape it? You can never escape it, it follows you everywhere if it's not solved. I moved because I needed a change, I needed something good to happen in my life, I needed to find work... I needed this. This was for me, not for anyone else. I am grateful for those friends who have kept in touch with me throughout this hard move.


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Written 12/3/02

Rain trickles down the window pane
Dark gloomy appearances fill the room
Candles flicker lights so bright
Quiet whispers all around
Who's that boy staring at me?
From fall away he can't be seen
Where did he come from?
Might this be a dream?
Walk a little closer, don't be afraid
Becoming more each and everyday
Confused eyes glancing straight at me
Asking questions which cannot be heard
Holding a secret deep inside the heart
Whisperers grows into a flock of buzzing
To loud please go away
You boy, you can stay
Feelings of completeness, emptiness disappears
Strange new beginnings having you near
Touching your face, so warm, so smooth
Candles are dimming, almost gone
Words still not yet spoken
Why boy, why?
Wishing loved ones feelings would change
Please hold me tight, never let go
Rain stopped, clear surroundings through the window
Light appears, room visible to everything
Staring back at you, a smile starting to grow
No around just you and me
Thoughts and emotions ready to explode
You're standing up, where are you going
Don't leave you make me happy
Seeming happy with me
Don't hide your feelings
Take this candle, light it now
Hold that flame, think of me
Your touch, the feel of aliveness
Is this reality or just a dream
A dream will it become true
Share with me your answers
The flame will light the way
Remember those who are there, always and forever
Never forget the caring, the loving, everything
Boy I'm confused, I think I'm falling in love
Please don't leave, help me through
Let's light that candle together
Watching the wax drip though our fingers
One question voiced
Where does this go from here?

no title

The laughs
The long stares
Those words written in bold
Across the locker
Pointed fingers
Lonely lunch table
Awful comments
Words of disgust
Everyone's talking
They all think they know

That empty stall
Last hour's meal gone
Hell follows
Counselor's office
"I'm here to help you"
No answer
Sinking into a hole
Everyone's talking
They still think they know

Becoming mute
Parents clueless
Those dreaded words
"We're here to help you"
Grades dropping
Circles under eyes
Alone in the world
Nothing will change
Everyone continues to talk
If only they knew

Nighttime arrives
The world sleeps
A letter explains
Parents not your fault
Everyone else yes
No cure
Everyone's talking

An open drawer
Sharp Knife

Everyone talked
Talked as if they knew
Now they are silent




Sweet talks
Letting people in
Feelings exposed
Having an amazing time
Two people as one

Hiding from the world
Feeling used
Then it stops

Confused as can be
Thoughts all boiled up
No communication
Wondering where things went wrong

A never ending cycle
Everything a lie
Wondering why this always happens

It’s time to take out the trash.

-RBG 8-13-07-

Rainy Days

Rainy Days

On that rusty old park bench he sits
Surrounded by couples of all ages
Holding hands as they walk around the park
One small tear drop streams down his cheek
Up above the sky grows dark
Rain falls down
Holding each other close the couples run away

On that rusty old park bench he sits
Day after day the same routine
For he always sits alone broken inside
Holding hands and laughing in the park
Staring into each others eyes
Promising to always be together
As the rain fell on them

Thunder sounds
Another tear drop trickles down his cheek
The rain comes down harder
Time passes on by
Remembering that night
Embraced in a tight hug slowly parting
Staring into each eyes
Hearing those words realizing it's over
As the rain fell on them

On that rusty old park bench he sits
For he sits alone broken inside
The rain overpowering his life
Remembering the memories is done
One last tear drop rolls down his cheek

On that rusty old park bench he used to sit
For the bench is empty
The rain has stopped

-- FOR JB --